Know Yourself

I had to give Aubs a lil credit!

We all know (well most of us know) this song title from Drake’s mixtape. But it is a good motto to live by, and it became very evident to me AS SOON as I arrived in Spain. If you know yourself, then you will not be moved when you find yourself in situations in which you are not at all comfortable, or when things start to test your inner gangster. If you know yourself and you are okay with your inner self, things on the outside become, well simply irrelevant.

It is very important to know who you are, and more importantly to be okay with who you are in life, but especially if you plan to study abroad. There are many things that are going to be new to you, that may catch you off guard, somethings you may not agree with at all, and somethings you just down right don’t need to be apart of.

Since I am about to leave I can drop these bombs on y’all without y’all sending in the troops to come get me. Instead of saving the best for last, I’m going to just start with it. So when I first walked in the door to the house of my host family in Spain, I noticed that they had a pentagram on the back of their door. Mhmm, y’all heard me a PENTAGRAM! Y’all know I don’t play with the spirits so I had to get my constitution together REAL quick.

For those of you who don’t know what a pentagram is, I encourage you to look it up, because like I said, I don’t play with the spirits so I don’t even want that on my computer lol.
So I could really stop this post right now, because that was enough to make me want to come home, but it’s all gravy because “Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I asked the Lord to cover me with his blood, and kept on moving.
Now, y’all know I CAN’T stand people worrying about things that have NOTHING to do with them, especially when it comes to my life… My host mom messed around and got to comfortable and told me she didn’t like something I was wearing (she has done this on many occasions by the way). I politely hit her with that “Okay.” and commenced to walking out the door. 
This was my face exactly…

So let me just go off real quick because I couldn’t go off on her..

#1 My parents provided all of the clothes I am wearing on this trip, so if they don’t have any problems with my apparel, then what you think is TRULY IRRELEVANT, not to mention you don’t get paid to think, you get paid to make me 3 meals a day and wash my clothes.
#2 You alternate out 3 dresses every few days, and you think you can give me fashion advice? I’m still confused by this one, if y’all figure it out, please comment.
#3 Lady I DON’T KNOW YOU, we need to keep it cordial, and that is it. Nothing more and nothing less, I didn’t know you before I got here and I am going to QUICKLY forget you when I leave.
Okay, I’m done.. y’all just don’t know, the Lord has really been working on me. The old me would have told her, but I’m practicing peace.

As if things weren’t bad enough, she also tells me, ooh I don’t know……. EVERY DAY that I need to gain about 5 kilos. Umm excuse me, I didn’t know you were a dietician since all you do is sit at home every day (and I am not exaggerating). I been #slimthick though boo, so I am not at all bothered by this (LOL, I know y’all like that slim thick). Lol, as I was writing this she just told me “you look really pretty and have a beautiful face, but you just need to gain about 10 kilos” So now it’s 10, it was 5. At this point I think she is hating and I want to tell her “if you want me to gain weight so bad, give me some of yours, you could afford to lose it.” But that would just be ugly now wouldn’t it?

*Don’t dish it if you can’t take it (but I digress).

Also, they have those little black statues around their house which are VERY sketchy to me because I think that use to be a sign of racism back in the day…

That didn’t really bother me either though because I’m almost positive she is obsessed with black people because she is always talking about my skin (see prior posts). But I don’t know because she also thought it was okay to ask me if I knew anyone in my family that had ever been a slave… I tried to be nice but I basically told her in so many words that slavery is a really sore topic for my people and we don’t like to talk about it (especially with people that will never understand what it is like to be black, and that is EVERYBODY BUT BLACK PEOPLE)!

I really don’t want y’all to think this is a negative post at all, I am actually kinda laughing as I write it because through all of the things aforementioned, and all the bs, I have learned so much about myself, and found new meaning in the term “unbothered”. Knowing myself is the best thing that I could have done to prepare myself for this trip. It takes time and doesn’t happen over night, but trust me; when you get to the point where the only opinion you are worried about is the good Lord’s, your life will be so much more enjoyable.

I say all that to say this, if I hadn’t been alright with me before I came over here, I probably would have had hurt feelings every day. But I didn’t, and that’s because I was me when I came here and Ima be me when I leave.

Buen Viaje,