MmmmOhMyGod Why You Lyin?

So I know I been slackin on the blog and I apologize for that. Between adjusting, moving, and getting my feet wet, I have neglected the blog and the people I love most. Y’all know playas eff up, but I’m here to make it right.

So let’s just dive right into, I’m sure this post will make up for the time I’ve been gone.


WHO LIES ABOUT KNOWING HOW TO DO HAIR? I mean really.. The proof is in the puddin’ and that puddin happens to be my head today. Yep, that’s right. I attempted to get box braids in the DR and I look like this…

Y’all, I could literally vomit.. Like I can count the number of braids I have in my head, and good rough estimate would be about twenty. Now tell me how I’m in the chair for 4 hours, with 2 people on head, and 6 packs of hair….

“… and this is the result.”

& I am DEFINITELY NOT posting a picture, this shall not be documented in any way, shape, form or fashion! I barely wanted people to see me on my way home!

I mean I am livid, Craig’s girlfriend on Friday had more braids in her hair than I do right now. When the girl  was done and I went and looked in the mirror and I immediately had to fix my face (the only reason I didn’t buck was because she was a friend of my “Dominican mom’s” and I didn’t wanna burn any bridges for her).


ANYWAY….


Box braids are called BOX BRAIDS for a reason, my hair is not parted in boxes, heck it’s really not even parted!


But it gets worse, when I walked outside I could feel the wind on ALL of my scalp and you know what that means, THEIR ISN’T ANY HAIR ON MY HEAD!! Six packs of hair, WHOOSH, in the trash like that! Because y’all know I’m finna take them out, YES FINNA!


At this point I’m a close second to Micheal Kyle after he took that “Sweet Hair” medicine to grow his hair out on My Wife and Kids, they could totally call me patches.. It’s like she braided all my hair into 20something braids and it’s just parts and hair she didn’t catch, and I’m not Rapunzel or nobody but I’m working with more than a little bit (see photo below)!

THEN.. This girl burned the ends… BURNED THEM!! Who still does that? I mean that is so 2008, I’m looking for her to bring out the cup of hot water or walk me to the stove, and her momma comin’ out the back with a dang candle!

HELP US FATHER GOD!


Because do y’all know her, her momma, and all her lil friends that were there had the nerve to tell me I was cute y’all, beautiful even. Now I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but CHILE BOO! They in there talking about church, and in my opinion don’t NONE of them know the Lord if they let me walk out the house looking a hot mess.


Well I just needed to vent and I knew y’all would understand! Lesson of the day DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT get box braids in the Dominican Republic, well at least not in Puerto Plata.


Buen Viaje,

Gabs

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